Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
