Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
