so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
