Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I need water and some morals
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
