the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
