its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
