i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
