She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
