I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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