im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
