she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
