i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize