its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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