nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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