Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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