i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
