she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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