I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
