I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize