The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
