I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
