Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
