he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
