At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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