Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
