seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
