A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
