i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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