We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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