there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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