okay pat passed out under dana's car
True but thats because hes a fetus.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
