I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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