You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
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Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
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She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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