Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
