i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
