it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...