Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us