So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
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Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
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I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent