just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
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I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
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So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest