No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie