I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
