Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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