idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
