i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
