i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
