i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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