just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
