i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
