Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
