The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
