careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So much rum. So many feels.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
