i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
