Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
