i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
