my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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