i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
