her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
