There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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