How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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