O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
