I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
