got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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