you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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