I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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