4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
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I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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