We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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