I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm at about main and main street
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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