We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
