barbara walters just said penis...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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