I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
